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It’s a good question to ask at the beginning of a Blogging for Beginners Series as it is a question I am asked every week.

There are a number of ways I could answer this question ranging from the broad to the highly technical.

Here are a few definitions from other much wiser people on the ‘what is a blog?’ question to get us started (and once you’ve seen what they have to say on the topic I’ll share my own thoughts):

‘A blog is a website in which items are posted on a regular basis and displayed in reverse chronological order. The term blog is a shortened form of weblog or web log. Authoring a blog, maintaining a blog or adding an article to an existing blog is called “blogging”. Individual articles on a blog are called “blog posts,” “posts” or “entries”. A person who posts these entries is called a “blogger”. A blog comprises text, hypertext, images, and links (to other web pages and to video, audio and other files). Blogs use a conversational style of documentation. Often blogs focus on a particular “area of interest”, such as Washington, D.C.’s political goings-on. Some blogs discuss personal experiences.’

‘A blog is basically a journal that is available on the web. The activity of updating a blog is “blogging” and someone who keeps a blog is a “blogger.” Blogs are typically updated daily using software that allows people with little or no technical background to update and maintain the blog. Postings on a blog are almost always arranged in cronological order with the most recent additions featured most prominantly.’

‘A weblog is kind of a continual tour, with a human guide who you get to know. There are many guides to choose from, each develops an audience, and there’s also comraderie and politics between the people who run weblogs, they point to each other, in all kinds of structures, graphs, loops, etc.’

It’s a good question to ask at the beginning of a Blogging for Beginners Series as it is a question I am asked every week.

There are a number of ways I could answer this question ranging from the broad to the highly technical.

Here are a few definitions from other much wiser people on the ‘what is a blog?’ question to get us started (and once you’ve seen what they have to say on the topic I’ll share my own thoughts):

‘A blog is a website in which items are posted on a regular basis and displayed in reverse chronological order. The term blog is a shortened form of weblog or web log. Authoring a blog, maintaining a blog or adding an article to an existing blog is called “blogging”. Individual articles on a blog are called “blog posts,” “posts” or “entries”. A person who posts these entries is called a “blogger”. A blog comprises text, hypertext, images, and links (to other web pages and to video, audio and other files). Blogs use a conversational style of documentation. Often blogs focus on a particular “area of interest”, such as Washington, D.C.’s political goings-on. Some blogs discuss personal experiences.’

Twenty-one years is a long time to live for the twenty-one year old. Most at that age are convinced they are adults. They KNOW it. They fit the standard definition.

It can probably be said that there is not a single adult on the planet. Not totally.

Dim view of humanity? Not at all. The point is that we are born, mature, become supposed adults, grow old and die. No one can define an exact stage in life. And that is where the understanding of being an adult becomes difficult: knowing definition.

Time interferes with every effort we make to do what we perceive is correct for our own needs and the needs of others. Time changes our view of things. Definition can be a disastrous path because it automatically puts one set of thoughts in the box labeled right and another set in a box labeled wrong. Once that happens, someone gets hurt.

Look at the life that surrounds you, meaning really look. You will see that this world is created by the book. All is laid out according to the dictionary. Every aspect of life has a hierarchy and expectations within that hierarchy. Step out of that box and in some cases you risk social collapse.

Humans tend to love stationary. Tradition becomes more than something fun, important or even sacred. It becomes a roadblock to growth and an addiction to the mind. Ask those who embrace tradition to let go of it and watch the resistance.

Once you find yourself well past twenty-one and heading toward sixty, time has a way of altering your viewpoint on what “knowing” really is. If the sixty-year-old had a life that caused the expansion of the mind and heart, allowing for growth, knowing becomes a thing of the past—a thing for twenty-one year olds. Painful tradition can fade away. Hierarchies disappear.

Some fifteen-year-old kids know enough not to know. No one has to reach sixty to embrace this thinking. It only takes an open mind with enough guts to realize there is no single right. There is no known definition.

Trust takes guts. Human’s hurt humans, but not because humans are naturally mean. It is because we remember enough in our past to learn from situations that hurt us. It is this learning process that sets us up to be smart enough not to touch a hot coal in the barbeque again.

Remembering past circumstances then changing your behavior to improve your life is a good thing. Remembering too much is not a good thing. It is this balance between remembering to protect yourself and forgetting and going on that creates or destroys trust. Going on without resentment takes courage.

Trust takes guts because it means placing yourself in a position where you could get hurt again. It means giving the next woman in your life the right NOT to be like the last one that hurt you. Just because your boss has personality traits like your dad, does not mean that he is your dad. Situations like this are scary. There is a way out of this dilemma.

Each event in life that hurts you is an individual event, not a railroad train with a thousand cars. Every time you get hurt, you learn. If you follow the steps to honestly look at the situation that hurt you, it becomes apparent that there was a reason for the end result. You have the power to alter the behaviors that caused the hurt and go on without a train load of duplicate situations repeating the same disaster.

If you look deeply enough at the cause and effect of a painful circumstance, most often you will find it was nobody’s fault and it was everybody’s fault. In other words, fault does not come into play. Circumstances that create fear create defensive behaviors that are not intentional. Open minded enough, you see that people act to protect themselves from pain.

Observing without fear, clarity of thought can take over. Trust resumes. You are smarter for the wear and more trusting. You know that the lesson was worth the pain. Trusting creates wisdom. Wisdom removes fear. In the presence of courage, getting hurt disappears.

Ronald Reagan was an American enigma. He is remembered for inadequacies and triumphs in office. So are most presidents. If you were Republican at the time, you loved him. Democrats, likely despised the man. There were reasons for the feelings on both sides.

Four quotes attributed to him make the enigma clear:

“Concentrated power has always been the enemy of liberty.”

“Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement.”

“All waste in a year from a nuclear power plant can be stored under a desk.”

“All great change in America begins at the dinner table.”

Some of his statements may inflame you. Others may bring tears to your eyes and yet some simply make you laugh, causing you to realize he had a sense of humor, distinct flaws, rightful desires and clear misdirection. He had a habit of making statements that showed a great deal of wisdom and character and then made decisions that showed the opposite. He was human.

History tends to mount up memories of things that are negative. People remember how much Ronald Reagan’s daughter despised him. We do not know the total picture of events between Ronald and his family on a personal level and yet we tend to think that public knowledge is irrefutable. That is a dangerous practice. Public knowledge is not always correct knowledge.

History, if written, eventually becomes set in stone for the student. We think Gandhi was a saint. We believe from the deepest of our hearts that Walter Cronkite would have been the best grandpa on the planet and we are absolutely certain that Richard Nixon WAS a crook.

Look at the entire picture before you judge. If evidence is available to give you a more complete picture, look at all the evidence. You do not have to agree with decisions made by Reagan or Nixon. You don’t have to feel bad if you thought that Huntley and Brinkley were better news casters than Cronkite. But you need to allow all of them to be human.

Twelve Things to Remember About People

1. Each one is different.

2. All people are the same.

3. Some people are smart. Others are not.

4. Differences scare people. Likeness makes them feel comfortable and safe.

5. People are born, live, get hurt, heal, love, get angry, grow, get sick, get well, find joy, lose joy, laugh, scream, cry, learn from past mistakes, don’t learn from past mistakes and eventually die. No exclusions.

6. Twenty-one is NOT adult.

7. Feelings get hurt and if kindness is given, feelings are healed.

8. Giving to another always makes both feel good. Taking always creates injury.

9. Forget to give? Then remember to do without.

10. Temptations exist in every human breath. Good. It teaches.

11. Seeing inadequacies in others happens in every human life. Good. It teaches tolerance.

12. If you give a child a candy bar, he will laugh or giggle, eat it, climb the walls from an over active pancreas and drop like a rock an hour later. If you give a child love, the child will be happy. This goes for adults too.

Five Things to Forgive in People:

1. Forgive them for being human.

2. Forgive them for being stupid.

3. Forgive them for being smart.

4. Forgive them for forgetting your birthday.

5. Just forgive them.

All that being said, it is most important to practice the same thing with yourself. That’s right, you are one of 6,862,161,949 people on the planet. You are born, make mistakes, learn to love and get angry with your little sister. You make a mistake at least once a day. You breathe the same air as the one sitting next to you and this act is one of sharing. Sharing is a thing we so easily forget. So is forgiving.

By the way, the population above was as of August 13, 2010 20:42 UTC. There is room for error. That was the point, wasn’t it?

It’s six in the evening when you sit down in your favorite café for an Americano, a scone and time to sit quietly and remember the day. Not long after you arrive, you are followed in by a group of two women in their twenties and a father and son.

The two women sit across from you, halfway across the café. They are dressed to kill. All the accessories, slightly low cut dresses to catch the attention of men. You are thinking this to yourself. That addition of the sunglasses on top of their heads gives that finishing touch. The words that come to mind? High maintenance.

You look out the café window to see a 2010 Lexus, black with a sun roof. Yep. Gotta be theirs.

The eleven year old boy and his dad sit next to you. The boy is wearing his Little League uniform with grass stains on the white pants. Dirt is ground into the chest of his shirt showing that he slid into second. You begin to chat with the two, discussing the game. Dad took his son to the café as a pay-off for a 2 RBI game and a throw out at home plate. It was a great day for dad and son. You almost mention the two women to the dad, but hold it in.

Dad and son move on and the two women pay their bill, getting up to go. You look out the window to prove to yourself that you are a good judge of character. Dad and son climb into the Lexus and drive off. Behind the Lexus is a 1972 Datsun 510 station wagon covered with gray primer spots. There are three ladders strapped to the top, covered with paint. The inside of the car is full of buckets, rollers and all the house painting accessories.

You look at the two women climbing into “Old Paint” and read the magnetic sign on the door: “Two Sisters House Painting—We Paint the Town!”

Your head drops to the table thanking God you kept your mouth shut.

Genuine relationships between couples include the ability of both to tolerate one another at every level. Some human habits are easier to accept than others. How about your husband’s violence toward the neighborhood dog that just bit your child? Hmmm. Can you handle that? It’s a gray area. It’s hard to see clearly though the fog of this one. How does that situation at home make you react away from home? Key: do you react or act?

Violence is not tolerated by most peaceful people. But what is violence? Is it murder? Is it the feelings you have for the driver on the freeway that just cut you off and almost hit you in the process? Is it the form of anger that shows up in a volleyball match with a score of 13 all?

Where is this emotion coming from that blinds you? Fear.

You fear that your child may be killed. You fear the driver on the freeway could cost you money or your life. You fear losing the volleyball match. Self-preservation has to be tended to very carefully. Perception is everything. Emotion fogs perception.

The dog bit your son because he was tormenting it.

The man that cut you off was angry because you cut him off two miles back.

The real reason you ignited in anger at the girl who spiked the ball past your face?  She was the one who created the breakup between you and your former mate.

How is the relationship between you and your spouse? Is a volleyball match interrupting it? Are you carrying anger and fear with you in the outside world? Don’t kick the dog.

Reacting and acting. Choose the second. Your eyesight will clear up.

Music is personal. No doubt about it. There is a general viewpoint that in a group, unless you know everyone thinks the same way, stay away from discussions of politics and religion. Especially at work. Music is no different. Because of this, it’s a great way to do a mind experiment to test your ability to accept others.

Assume you grew up in the late sixties. You spent every spare audible moment trapped in the rhythms of Led Zeppelin, Grand Funk Railroad, The Doobie Brothers, The Stones and those spacing out moments with Yes. You grew up with huge amounts of music and you are convinced that you are accepting of every genre with an open mind.

What was your dad’s reaction when you had the music too loud? Remember the lecture you got about “real” music from Glen Miller and Sinatra?

After high school you had established musical tastes. In your mind you knew good music from bad which was the reason you stopped listening to music in the eighties! Right? You remember that, don’t you?

By 1987 you had your first child. In high school he listened to Green Day and a whole slew of other groups that, in your mind, lacked good harmony, good voices and ability to REALLY play a guitar. In 1995 you had your third child. In 2010, she is a musician in her own right. Not only does she listen to all the popular music, she plays Black Dog by Led Zeppelin on her electric violin. Yes! You succeeded in raising one child correctly!

One evening, while sitting at home, watching your favorite movie for the eightieth time, you hear someone in the family room banging out a Frank Sinatra song. You wander in to see your daughter with three other musical friends discovering the music of the forties.

Are you going to lecture her on the purity of Led Zeppelin and Yes, or will you remember that you are accepting of every genre? Take that mind experiment to work. How well do you accept with an open mind?

People have a natural tendency to talk a lot. Quite often the speech patterns, subjects of discussion and reactions to given topics are all memorized reactions, learned and honed over many years of thoughtless practice. The effort to think through a thought before in becomes words is seldom achieved.

If you are sitting in a group of eight people or more, the discussion will often break into several counter discussions that eventually break away into truly different topics. It is a cycle of the group. This will continue until one pair of people either becomes so loud that it catches the attention of the others or the topics run their course and the members of the group look around for a way to fill the sudden silence.

Above all else, silence in a group discussion is banned. Talk must prevail, without thought. Someone cracks a joke or brings up a topic of known controversy and the group is off again.

In the above scenario, almost always, one of the discussions is one of dissent against one person or an organization. The main course may be more positive, but somewhere along the line, one of the members brings up a topic that discusses the transgressions of another. Many of these group discussions are one hundred percent dissent. You will note that these discussions are most often the liveliest and more filled with aggressive verbal action than any other topic.

Next time this happens to you, take the time to stop talking and just listen. See where the general feeling is going within the discussion of disapproval. Then, at the right moment, counter the general feeling with a statement that refutes the feelings of the entire group and see what happens. Be careful. Don’t put yourself in danger of losing your life! But try it with a topic that is not completely volatile and see how many people allow their minds to kick in for the first time in an hour.

Silence is fodder for insight. Insight often reveals unbalanced prejudice. The mind engages. Pre-conceived automated opinion stops.

Trees are founded in a root system. They grow due to the fluid that they find where their roots are buried the deepest. Collectively, trees hold the soil so that they have a place to grow together with diversity.

Occasionally, a tree with flaws breaks and falls. If the tree has enough life left within, it may sprout new life from a basal shoot, a bud at the base of a tree.

It takes little effort to see the resemblance trees have to humans. Many humans crack and break under the stress of life. Natural animal instinct tends to push herd mentality into action with people who have failed. The fallen are shunned, oppressed and discarded.

Nations have grown, crumbled, and re-grown in like manner. In like manner, surrounding nations often shun the falling or fallen. The basal shoots are trampled.

Our planet is currently populated with countless nations that are falling. Many have fallen into violence as their last hope of keeping their beliefs and ideals alive. The sprouts from fallen mature nations are having a difficult time taking root.

It seems very easy to condemn a falling nation. It is a simple process to discard what we do not understand. It is difficult to embrace another human whose beliefs are foreign.

Nations have new sprouts. They are called children. Water them. Let them grow. It may surprise you to see that the crooked tree that fell grows something new and healthy. You have fallen hard at times. Re-gowning took effort. Often, you were helped back to your feet again.